Girlfriends = Pivo

After many nights sitting alone by myself without the warmth and comfort of a beautiful young lady with an impressive set of jugs, i began to ponder what could be the possible reason for this. Could it possibly be my looks? Surely not, for i truly am a strapping young lad with a face that would make Cleopatra swoon and the body of a modern day Adonnis. Perhaps it is my character? this also i refute, for my mind is a keen as the Eagles eye, my wit sharper than Japanese Steel, and an intellect so deep that all the books in all the world could only fill it enough to whet it's thirst for knoweldge. Modesty aside, i see no other reason why i should need to spend my evenings with nothing but a Pivo. But then, i began to think...Why is it i don't have a girlfriend, but i do have an intimate realationship with my good friend Miss Gambrinus...then it dawned on me, Pivo is my girlfriend! with a little more thinking i realised there are a number of reason why this is true, girlfriends and pivo have a few very similar things in common:

Pivo makes me happy

Pivo makes me sad

I can talk about my pivo all night

Pivo makes me talk crap

Pivo gives head – similarly I like it when pivo goes down

I’m a bad dancer, but my pivo doesn’t mind

Pivo makes me horny

Pivo turns me into a sentimental blubbering idiot

I spend all my money on pivo

I don’t mind being naked in front of a pivo – in fact a pivo often gets me naked

When I come home at night after a hard days work, all I want to see is my pivo

Having lunch with a pivo, I will never run out of things to say

My pivo has some hot mates (Becherovka, Rum…)

I like my English Pivo warm and flat, but I won’t object to a cool bubbly one

If I wake up in the morning with a hangover and ignore the pivo, everyone suffers- If I wake up
in the morning with a hangover and love the pivo, everyone is happy

If I don’t like my current flavour Pivo, I can always toss it out and get a new one