Our fellow pivo terrorist Al recently wrote a post reflecting on why he does not have a girlfriend. His conclusion was that pivo IS his girlfriend!
After reading and analyzing this post Ms. Jenski and I realized something completely different with respect to our romantical lives and came up with the following- Pivo is not our boyfriend, pivo is BETTER than a boyfriend:
Pivo adapts to your moods
Pivo doesn't get jealous when you talk to other guys
There are lots of different kinds of pivo: you can try as many as you like, more than one at a time even-- and no one will call you a slut
Pivo doesn’t care if it is your first drink and doesn’t mind you comparing it to other pivos
You don't have to worry about how pivo will get along with your friends
It's not hard to find the right pivo for you
Pivo is always there for you, at any time of the day and won’t make up excuses for not coming
Pivo will never turn up to you with a lipstick mark on it (unless it's your own)
When you get sick of pivo you can just puke it all out
Pivo can keep you entertained all day/night long
Pivo always satisfies you
Pivo doesn't play emotional games
Even if pivo makes you feel bad one day, you know that you'll ALWAYS want pivo in your life no matter what
Pivo doesn't mind if you haven't shaved your legs for a week
Pivo doesn’t make you worry about your looks; in fact when pivo realizes that it makes you put on weight it works on improving its own quality (light pivo anyone?)
You can tell if a pivo is bad and you should end your association with it after just one sip
You can tell if the pivo is velky (large) or maly (small) by just looking at the outside.
You don't have to fake that you like it when you are with a pivo.
When a pivo is finished it can be recharged within the next 10 seconds
One of those pivo-ing Saturday nights a few months back, U Sudu, underground, crowds, noise, drunken conversations at different tables... at one table at the corner:
Al: ...ah I don't like Pilsner that much, it's too bitter. Gambrinus is better.
Jenski: I like Pilsner though. It's strong.
Al: You like strong beer, don't ya?
Jenski: Yeah, maybe that's why I drink fast... it's so bitter that you just chug it down as quickly as possible…yeah you finish it fast this way, so I like to get a litre of it in one of those big-ass long glasses and it'll go for a longer time...
[Alex, who just arrived in Prague and hadn't got to know the people that well, walks over and sits down next to Jenski, wanting to join in the conversation.]
Al: So let me summarize, you like hard, fast, long and long?
Alex with priceless look on his face: What am I getting into?
[Alex stands up and walks away]
Jenski, watching Alex walk away, shrugs, turns back to Al: Yes, hard, fast, long and long.