Wednesday, February 28, 2007


To celebrate Al's name day we had a small gathering yesterday in the bar down the street of my house. As always, all the conversations started, involved, and ended with beer talks. During the beer taste and quality part of the discussion Neil provided a precious piece of information, that Bernard is right now the only non-pasteurized beer in the market. The topic started with Neil and Richie openly expressing their dislike of Bernard beer because of its weird taste and, especially, Neil's tummy problem after 4 Bernard beers from experience.

Very interesting. Being the most famous family owned Czech brewery Bernard has maintained it's brewing technique of producing traditional unpasteurized beer and argued that pasteurization process changes beer taste and color. I don't mind Bernard but I don't know if pasteurization really matters that much in terms of taste. Dairy product pasteurization is a different story but beer, hmmm...

On a related note, there's already scientific study that found out drinkers can't judge a beer by its taste. Instead, knowing what's in a beer or who made it can affect your rating during beer tasting. As I always say, it's all psychological.

Actually, Habibi

It all started with my love for shisha, a passion that not so many people understand, and when my determination of purchasing a shisha turned into the unstoppable motivation to raid the country of shisha, it was just frikking unstoppable.

Claire happened to have 5 weeks off from work and didn't mind being dragged around by me. Even better she wanted to become a worthy Brit more cultured than drinking her body weight in tea, abusing cheap Czech beer and eating fish and chips, (we actually waited till the last minute to buy the tickets just to double-confirm on this point). So after her first-ever embassy visit she finally got her first visa in her passport. We are good to go.

After boarding on the plane, Claire was re-arranging her bag and I found a big-ass book while peeping into her personal effects.
"That's a big-ass organizer! WTF do you even need that for? You? Planning?"
"Check this out."
So this is the itinerary I worked out for the trip, and the following is the only thing she wrote in her organizer:

Page 1: 9th, Feb Egypt ->
Page 3: 18th , Feb -> Prague

Sweet as. We will be the best travel partners ever and both look forward to the trip. Excited.

I'm sure Claire will have a lot to tell about the trip and is a better story teller than I am. Therefore I'll leave it to her to decide what to share. Before she starts though, I'd like to introduce you two new friends: Stella Local and Luxor. Both are Eygptian local beers and they aren't shabby at all. I was actually very impressed with Egyptian pivo (that's right, they brew beer in Egypt!) I liked Stella so much that I wanted to own a Stella glass for my beer mug collection. We didn't find any until in a restaurant in Hurghada they served my beer in a Stella labeled glass. We were going to leave the place with it in our "traditional" way but my conscience struck me at the crucial moment and on a second thought I decided that stealing from Africa is bad. So I called the waiter over and asked if we could buy the glass from them. I was then kindly informed that they had only 5-10 glasses in the bar. So, sadly, no. Oh well, at least I tried, and the image can be forever...
Me, shisha, and Stella Local
Claire & Raoiri - Luxor
[Full Album, aka Jenski's version of the story]

Pivo helps the Environment!

Cane toads aren't native to Australia, but they sure are causing a lot of trouble. That may not be the case any longer thanks to a fellow named Tom Hedley and his beer-for-toads idea. Basic summary:
-Toads are bad for the environment
-Pivo is good for you
Pivo can help save the environment!

Monday, February 26, 2007

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Confessions of a Pivo Terrorist

I was supposed to write a post entitled 'why pivo terrorists' many moons ago but i didn't and for one very good reason - i couldn't remember where the term 'Pivo Terrorist' had come from which made writing the afore mentioned artricle extremely difficult even for a practiced dissembler such as myself. Thankfully Jenny, with her Chinese wisdom and excellent memory skills, has provided a scenario which may very well be true but which I still don't remember. Tak, i shall therefore begin with the 'fancy' version suggested by Fang and start with pure semantics:
1. intense, sharp, overmastering fear 2. Informal. a person or thing that is especially annoying or unpleasant.
and move on to:
1. a person who tries to frighten people or governments into doing what he/she wants by using or threatening violence 2. agent or partisan of the revolutionary tribunal during the Reign of Terror in France. 3. a radical who employs terror as a political weapon; usually organizes with other terrorists in small cells; often uses religion as a cover for terrorist activities

Question: Do we inspire such feeling in anybody we meet? and furthermore do any of these sound like a bunch of pissed-up kids in Prague?

I'll leave that to your discretion...

Controversial as the word terrorist is, when preceeded by the word pivo, i think it accurately describes a typical Friday or Saturday night (or any day, if something special is happening) in fair Praha where out of the blue small 'cells' of highly dedicated drinking teams, mainly from Praha (but always happy to admit any like-minded wandering nomads) converge en mass using the weekend as an excuse to get together, talk rubbish and generally enjoy running around Prague, getting lost, laughing a lot and, of course, eating Smazeny Syr at 3 a.m.

Or, here is the short version for people with attention dificiency disorder:

When the power of Semantics and failed me I rejoiced with the 'fakt' that 'Pivo Terrorists' was merely the inane ramblings of a couple of hungover girls when faced with the opportunity of jumping a couple of guys for their premium Czech pivo, which could infact be described as an act of mild terror but in our eyes would be an honourable pursuit. I would also like to note that we have inscribed ''pivo terrorists'' onto the John Lennon wall, thus preserving it for posterity and copyrighting it at the same time - fakt jo

Friend or Foe?

How to taste beer from Cure For What Ales You

Even though this article is pretty gay, I'd admit this site is awesome. But again I say this is gay.

Because pivo is so good...

This weekend was my friend Amy's birthday. It was also the occasion of a historic event. I, more than once, had proclaimed that I could out-drink my friend Warren (pictured here). So what if he's 3 years older and about 50 pounds heavier? My pivo training in the Czech Republic had prepared me to compete in the big leagues. Back in my heyday (i.e. last year) it was pivo every day and measuring beer in litres instead of drinks. I may be short and a girl, but I have trained tirelessly (much like that of a world-class pivo athlete) to attain a tolerance level and capacity to make Jenny proud of me. Granted, she could outdrink me any day of the week, but Canadian standards are much, much lower.

The competition rules were fuzzily defined--it was drink for drink and then we were to have judges decide who was drunker at the end of the night. At the pre-drinking venue before leaving for the club I did a survey and I was judged to be the winner of round 1. Alas, by the end of the night, sobriety was in short supply. I proclaimed victory, Warren conceded defeat (ever the gentleman), and a re-match (date to be determined) was agreed upon. Warren said he stopped drinking because "everyone else was getting too drunk" and he wanted to watch out for them. Right.

I would like to thank Alexander Keith, the creator of my favorite Canadian beer for his massive contribution to my victory.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Why pivo terrorists?

Tak, by the time Claire starts to consider writing this article which has been her assignment by COB for the past many many days, we would have all got violent and become real terrorists already. Her lame excuse of procrastinating it while doing sod all during her vacation (not aware that procrastination is actually a mental disease as serious as pornography addiction) is that she doesn’t have regular internet access. But since when did mankind need internet access to WRITE! In fact the real season is she’s being a flaky ie lazy English fascist not well educated for the rest of the world’s work ethic. I don’t intend to deprive her of her joy and right of writing in her native language though, so here’s a draft or more like the raw material of the story before she comes up with a *posh* one. So…

One lovely Sunday afternoon, Jenski and Claireski are walking merrily in Vaclavske Namesti (Wensuslas Square). Two guys pass us with a whole case of beer in their hands. From one brief glance we already know it’s good ol’ Staropramen, one of our favorite beers.

J.: “Claire, you go knock them down and I take the beer. Meet around the corner to the next street?”
C.: “F*cking-A! If I had a blog, I’d call it Pivo Terrorist. Pivo would be the only reason for me to get violent… whatever it takes!”

So here we are. A bunch of pivo lovers decided to get together to make this happen. We decided it would get us into unnecessary trouble if the word “terrorist” shows up in the domain name or the blog title, but we wouldn’t mind ourselves being called like that as long as it follows “pivo”.

PS. I propose we reach a Peace Treaty with the other super power CATTY so that the world can keep living in the absolute harmony and justice as it does now… at least not worse.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Are We Really Alcoholics?

We don't like the word alcoholic. We prefer the word "fun". All of us are very fun! If one of us were to take a standard "Are you an alcoholic?" test, chances are that we would be labelled as "alcoholics". However, we feel that these tests are rather ludicrous. Below we examine and comment upon one of these so-called "tests" of alcoholism.

Are You An Alcoholic?

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them as honestly as you can. (Yes/No)

1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking?

We don't consider less time at work a loss. Also, one member is not currently employed. Bad question.

2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?

No. It makes it FUN!

3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?

Yes. We are intensely shy wallflowers who need the sauce to blossom to our full potential.

4. Is drinking affecting your reputation?

This question is not specific as to whether drinking affects our reputations negatively or positively. Generally, we find drinking to be good for our reputations. Comments such as "Oh damn Jenny, you drink like a fish!" and "You are a futsking legend!" are commonplace. As we find this pseudo-hero worship rather endearing and flattering, we'll give this one a yes.

5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?

In what sense? With regards to what? This question also is just not specific enough. However, if we were to speculate that remorse can be caused by things like: ordering a maly pivo (small beer) instead of a normal one, puking, not being able to drink flaming B-52 shots because you are scared you will catch on fire, and other things such as this we can answer yes to this one as well.

6. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of drinking?

Financial difficulties are present regardless of drinking habits. We're just plain poor. Anyway, beer is 90% water, and you need 8 glasses of water a day to be healthy so beer intake actually helps you with your daily water intake requirement. Let's give this a no.

7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?

Take a look around. Would we hang out with each other otherwise?

8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare?

What family?

9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking?

Once again, a horrible question. Ambition towards/in regards to what? We are very ambitious in our quest to drink pivo. We don't consider that our overall ambition in life has decreased, although it may have found different outlets than in the past.

10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time of day?

What time is it?

11. Do you want a drink the next morning?

Next morning after what? Every morning? Did a drunk write this test?

12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?

It helps!

13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?

No, we can definitely drink much faster than before. Topalky is evidence of this.

14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?

Are they using job or business as a euphemism for something else?

15. Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble?

What worries and troubles? All I can focus on is this really good pivo in my hand.

16. Do you drink alone?

Is this an existential question? Are we all really alone even when we are amongst other people? Do they mean physically or emotionally alone?

17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking?

I can't remember.

18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?

Dr. Pivo has cured many an illness...

19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?

Can we have a drink before making this decision? We're not really sure what to say otherwise.

20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of drinking?

They wouldn't let us into the one in Cesky Krumlov!

According to the test:
If you have answered YES to any one of the questions, there is a definite warning that you may be an alcoholic.
If you have answered YES to any two, the chances are that you are an alcoholic.
If you have answered YES to three or more, you are definitely an alcoholic.

What do you think?

More importantly-
How do you score on this test? Na zdravi!